Private Life Singularities


HISTORICAL EVALUATION OF SEXUALITY IN ISRAEL
For many years, the subject of Private Life of people with special needs was taboo in Israel. Large parts of the Israeli Jewish population live a traditional life style, some live strict forms of orthodoxy in which Private Life concepts are not openly discussed. E.g. boys with special needs who masturbated could get slapped on their fingers by their counselors and given a book of psalms to read instead. In large parts of the Arab population in Israel the situation is similar. In those circles, homosexuality is also considered a sin and outside the realm of the acceptable. In the not too distant part, counselors working in settings for people with special needs refused to address the issues related to Private Life openly. The care that people with special needs received depended on the particular worker's values. The trend today, is to make the dealing with clients' Private Life issues part of the professional requirements for anyone working in such settings. It is a trend that requires a lot of educational effort. The formal entitlement alone is not always a guarantee that it will be realized. Another example is that civilian marriage is not possible for anyone in Israel. As a result, couples who, for whatever reason, do not wish to, or cannot legally get married under existing law, must either marry fictitiously (and not enjoy legal entitlements that apply to people who are legally married) or go abroad to marry and then get the marriage acknowledged retroactively. Whereas the Ministry of Social Affairs in Israel does not object to people with intellectual disabilities who want to live as couples, the ministry does not help them to get apartments unless they live together with four more people (the Ministry only supports apartments of at least six people with intellectual disabilities and makes no exception for couples). As a result, organizations who administer living arrangements (financed by the state) are now criticized by some families of people with disabilities for limiting what they consider to be their sons' and daughters' right to a full private life. The people who discussed the above included:
- Mr. Victor Lifac – Deputy Director of AKIM-Jerusalem, social worker and certified referent for sexual and social education.
- Ms. Efrat Cahani – Social worker, director of AKIM-Jerusalem's Center for Training, Treatment and Leisure at Beit Rachel Straus
- Mr. Stefan Rothschild – Social worker, director for External Relations and Resource Development in AKIM-Jerusalem.






HISTORICAL EVALUATION OF SEXUALITY IN LITHUANIA

Starting since Christianization of the Lithuania that took place in 1387 policy of Catholic Church took the dominant position in policy of all country.
During the 14th century, the Grand Duchy of Lithuania was the largest country in Europe but it was a lot of Catholic restriction about sexual relations between unmarried and even married people.
The Statutes of Lithuania were a 16th century codification of all the legislation of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania provided even the death penalty for non-marital relationships.
Post-war period; people lived in "traditional" society, where sex “did not exist”. It was not polite to talk about sex and sexual relations. At schools there were no sex education; education was based on moralistic and threatening. Birth control did not exist; a lot of forced marriages took place because of unplanned pregnancy. It was a lot of criminal abortions during this time.
However, the Lithuanian folklore possible to find a lot of symbols of sexuality: sympathy, desire, dating, first night, etc. It is still a very popular explanation for children "Stork comes with the new born baby".
After Lithuania became an independent state, western culture made a significant impact on people’s mentality. Suddenly disappeared all restrictions which for many years were the norm,. The media becomes independent as well. Therefore, there are big differences between the generations – starting from the very conservative attitudes to fully liberal approaches.
NOWADAYS APPROACH TO SEXUALITY
The disabled persons in Lithuania are generally accepted as sexless people. We are taking care of their education, employment, providing medical care, nursing and technical support services, but usually we are forgetting to take care about the personal life of a disabled person. The biggest problem is that the community does not understand such needs of disabled people as love, intimacy and sexual satisfaction. The dominating opinion - sexuality is just for people with “normal” intellect. People believe that disability can damage human sexuality and reproducibility.
E. Giedraitienė and R. Vaičekauskaitė* propose that success of many learning methods depend on the comprehensive approach of education as well sex education. The most important is teamwork: parents, teachers, doctors, social workers, teachers, peers.
People with disabilities usually are infantilized by society, most of people treating mentally disabled grownups like children; they are not recognized as adults with sexual needs and desires.
We are afraid that, sex education of disabled youngsters in Lithuania completely not exists. The most common opinion – better stay away from this subject; if you start to talk about sex with mentally disabled he/she could become uncontrollable and even can be danger for other people. But sexuality - is one of the basic human needs, so it is necessary to identify and meet this topic
There are no qualified professionals. No one vocational or high school in Lithuania educates professionals able to give sex education to mentally disabled youth.
Due to lack of information and knowledge mentally disabled persons often are getting in to the situations of sexual abuse and exploitation.
*A. Kalinkevičienė - Tėvų požiūris į neįgalių vaikų ugdymą, Magistro darbas (2005)
SEXUAL RIGHT OF INTELLECTUAL DISABLED PEOPLE In our opinion – nobody in Lithuania care about right of private life of mentally disabled people starting from their parent’s ending legislation. The most common attitude - many years nobody was talking about this and it was no problem, so way we need to start talking about this now?
In Lithuania nobody officially represents rights to sexual life of people with mental disabilities. The topic was never discussed at the national level. Perhaps why there are a lot of myths that distort the true situation.
The work should begin at the family of disabled person. Parent’s usually treating their adult child, as a small baby all his life and rejects any sexual needs. Only a change to begin changes is to educate parent’s firs. When we are meeting with indifference from family of disabled person all other people getting no inspiration and not making any affords to start the discussion.
Society has negative approach to the disabled person’s desire to love and be loved, desire to have a beloved, to live in a pair. Mentally disabled individuals who want to start a family and to have children are just moralizing, scaring and criticizing; but not helping them to assist and understand the situation logically.
HOW SHOULD CHANGE THE CURRENT POLITICAL SITUATION TOWARDS THE SEXUALITY OF INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED PEOPLE?
At first should be changed attitude to people with disabilities, especially individuals with mental disabilities in Lithuania. The public must understand that mentally disabled people are the same people as everyone else, that they have the same needs as any of us.
The vocational schools, colleges and universities should prepare professionals qualified to give sexual education to non disabled and disabled youth. At the same time we have to put in to the practice separate, and active sex education course to schools were high qualified professionals can give expropriate education to non disabled and disabled youth.
To form the teams (family - school - further education) working together on this actual topic. The collaboration between family and professionals will brae the barriers and will enable everybody to be open mind.
If each mentally disabled persons could get appropriate information, they will manage to understand what is sexuality, what are their sexual needs, how to meet them and control, perhaps able to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy, to understand and recognize what is sexual abuse and exploitation.
The innovative approach and team work could improve quality of life of mental disabled person as well society will become much more tolerant and open mind and supportive.
More useful information:
In Lithuania, Sex Education Remains Taboo
Human Sexuality in Lithuania: A Cross Generational Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behavior http://books.google.lt/books?id=Ne2roeDIasEC&printsec=frontcover&hl=lt&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
The Family Planning and Sexual Health Association of Lithuania (FPSHA) http://www.ippf.org/our-work/where-we-work/europe/lithuania

The people who discussed:
Lina Trebiene
Inga Cemeriene
Egle Gudzinskiene
Jovita Jarasiute





About Sex and Relationship for Persons with Intellectual Disability in Sweden

 “Historically,people with developmental disabilities have been treated with various forms of restrictions, control and separation between the sexes, when it comes to sexuality. It was especially during the long era of institutionalization. Institutions gave an opportunity to control family formation through marriage ban, and childbearing, primarily through sterilizations. ”(from Löfgren-Mårtenson, Lotta, ”Får jag lov?” Om sexualitet och kärlek i den nya generationen unga med utvecklingsstörning, Studentlitteratur, 2005.)

Some historical years in Sweden:

• 1842 the creation of the generalelementary school.
•1882 anobligation to attendschool,but not for all children.
•1889obligation for deaf childrento attend school
•1896obligation for blind childrento attend school.
•1935the law oncompulsory sterilization. The lawapplied to 1975.
•1944some children withdevelopmental disabilities have the obligationto attend school, but onlythose the schoolthought had the ability to learn something.
•In 1968,all childrenwith intellectual disabilities have the obligationto attend school.
•In 1999,the firstanti-discrimination lawconcerningdisability.


Learning about and discussing sex and relationship in schoolnowadays
·         The Swedish Riksdag and the Government set out the goals and guidelines for the preschool and school through the Education Act and the Curricula. Sex and relationship is an important part of the curriculum for all students.
“The sex education has been made visible mainly with the concept of gender, sexuality, relationships, sex and identity - but also concepts such as human rights, self-image, interaction, body awareness, emotions and self-esteem. When the concepts are included in the curriculum, syllabuses and subject plans, students should be able to reflect from different perspectives - both historical, social and natural science as religion and linguistics. Knowledge area can also be explored through the experiences, feelings and interacting and integrity exercises. Overall, teaching gives students different perspectives on issues of gender, sexuality and relationships.”
( from Skolverket: Sex- och samlevnadsundervisning i särskolan)
·         Educational books and films are especiallymade for schools and for people with disablities.

Learning about sex and relationship in medianowadays
On the web and in books young people with disablities can find information about sex and relationsship.
Some examples:
·         produced by UR, swedish educational TV,  you can find a serie of films made together with young people with cognitive disablilties. Have a look by using the links above!
·         The Centre Easy-to-Read, LL-förlaget, is editing books in easy languages about for example relationsships and sex, both as literarture and as facts.
”Lätta sexboken”/The Easy Sex book, authorInti Chavez Perez (also as listening book)
”Drömmen om danskungen”/The dream about the Dancing King, author Lotta Löfgren-Mårtensson

Learning more about sex and relationshipnowadays
All young people can free of charge visit a place named ”ungdomsmottagningen” to talk, get advices about sex and other personal matters.Many schools often introduce this by making a visit together, thereafter the youngster can visit the place on their own. Ungdomsmottagningen also has their own web site where you can read or listen to the text: ” You are welcome to ask questions about the body, contraception and emergency contraceptive. You can also ask questions about relationships, sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. If you have questions about bullying, stress and anxiety you can turn to the youth clinic. You can also visit the youth guide online.”
Ungdomsmottagningarna are operated by the landsting in different parts of Sweden.(Landsting is the tax financed organisations operating the healthcare in Sweden.)

P15 Lindeparken School, Sweden




do not describe the historical part of sexuality, but I searched for material / video’s that could be of use for your organisations; e.g. in the dialogue and information with staff / parents / people with a disability.

Compared to many other countries the Netherlands has one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates and scores low on STIs.
Young people in the Netherlands are generally well informed on sexuality and contraceptive use is high.
We are often asked about sex education in the Netherlands, and how we have become so open minded about sex.
The film 'Dutch Lessons in Love' has tried to answer these questions.
Dutch Lessons in Love part 1 (17 min) relates about social developments and organisations such as “Rutgers” that took part in those social movements, resulting in a liberal sexual climate. 
In Dutch Lessons in Love - part 2 (22 min) one learns how Rutgers and its partners educate and empower Dutch young people to have safe and pleasant sex, only when they are ready for it. 
We filmed sex education lessons at a Dutch primary school, a secondary school and at a school  for children with disabilities. 
In general, I think that the information you will find in the website of the Rutger stitching -  http://www.rutgers.international/our-products/tools - can provide you many tools.




Ino Cornel MBA
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